Funnies

* You find yourself casually standing in a half cat stance.

* You trip, go into a roll and come up in a fighting stance. In church.

* You put your hands together in a martial arts bow position (one hand open the other closed) after grace at the dinner table.

* You tie your bathrobe belt in a square knot. Then check to make sure the ends are exactly even.

* You accept change from the cashier using a perfect knife hand with the thumb carefully tucked in.

* Every time you handle a screwdriver or razor knife, etc. You just can't help changing grip from hammer to reverse to flip over to dagger grip etc. And your shop help is standing cautiously far, far away from you.

* When you're outside doing landscaping/gardening you "practice" with all the neat weapons.

You know you're hooked on karate when . . . .

* The first word out of your parrot's mouth is KIAI! and you teach your cat how to free spar.

* You have more bruises than a roller derby queen, and you still go back for more.

* You shut the refrigerator door with a side thrust kick.

* You shop for clothes based on whether you can kick in them.

* You actually crave a beach workout.

* The books on your night stand are by authors like Gichin Funakoshi, Hirokazu Kanazawa and Musashi Miyamoto.

* The Twelve Days of Christmas becomes: one boxing bag, two boxing gloves, three shin pads (includes an extra pad for the one you'll inevitably lose), four Tokaido gi's, five rolls of adhesive tape....twelve cases of Tiger Balm.

* You look for a place to live based on the amount of practice space it provides.

You know you've become a pitbull Karate Guy/Gal when.....

10. As your classmate withers in pain on the floor, you fantasize about the quickest way to put him out of his misery.

9. Over skilled, not over-kill tell that to the poor slob you just waxed!

8. When all your injuries heal, you go through withdrawals.

6. You look forward to working another technique line.

5. You eagerly volunteer to be the instructors dummy.

4. You believe the technique endings are too short.

2. The orthopedic surgeon starts paying you a finders fee.

Top ten signs that you're a Middle Aged Martial Artist...

9: You Kia and your dentures hit the person in front of you in class.

8: Your training partner begins each move with the statement, "I really don't want to hurt you..."

7: You mail-order the prune scented Dit Dat Jow.

6: You ask Sensei about the use of a walker in Kuboda training.

5: Like a toothache, it feels so good when you stop!

4: You discover that sweat really is the fountain of youth.

3: You tire of swapping lies about golf and instead enjoy discussing your favorite kata.

2: You rent a forklift to help you out of your easy chair.

Your family nickname is "Rice Crispy," because when you get out of bed in the morning, there's a deafening sound of snap, crackle and pop!

More funnies to follow shortly...stay tuned...

Elite Freestyle Karate & Kickboxing International


	The Elite Karate Club \| home Funnies Funnies You might be a martial artist if.... * You find yourself casually standing in a half cat stance. * You trip, go into a roll and come up in a fighting stance. In church. * You answer your boss Ussss. * You put your hands together in a martial arts bow position (one hand open the other closed) after grace at the dinner table. * You tie your bathrobe belt in a square knot. Then check to make sure the ends are exactly even. * You accept change from the cashier using a perfect knife hand with the thumb carefully tucked in. * Every time you handle a screwdriver or razor knife, etc. You just can't help changing grip from hammer to reverse to flip over to dagger grip etc. And your shop help is standing cautiously far, far away from you. * When you're outside doing landscaping/gardening you "practice" with all the neat weapons. You know you're hooked on karate when . . . . * The first word out of your parrot's mouth is KIAI! and you teach your cat how to free spar. * You have more bruises than a roller derby queen, and you still go back for more. * You shut the refrigerator door with a side thrust kick. * You shop for clothes based on whether you can kick in them. * The only clothes you'll wear are gis. * You actually crave a beach workout. * The books on your night stand are by authors like Gichin Funakoshi, Hirokazu Kanazawa and Musashi Miyamoto. * The Twelve Days of Christmas becomes: one boxing bag, two boxing gloves, three shin pads (includes an extra pad for the one you'll inevitably lose), four Tokaido gi's, five rolls of adhesive tape....twelve cases of Tiger Balm. * You look for a place to live based on the amount of practice space it provides. You refuse to wear shoes. You know you've become a pitbull Karate Guy/Gal when..... 10. As your classmate withers in pain on the floor, you fantasize about the quickest way to put him out of his misery. 9. Over skilled, not over-kill tell that to the poor slob you just waxed! 8. When all your injuries heal, you go through withdrawals. 7. You view new students as fresh meat. 6. You look forward to working another technique line. 5. You eagerly volunteer to be the instructors dummy. 4. You believe the technique endings are too short. 3. You enjoyed your last promotion test. 2. The orthopedic surgeon starts paying you a finders fee. 1. 3 Words... Pain is Joy. Top ten signs that you're a Middle Aged Martial Artist... 10: You savor the flavor of Nuprin. 9: You Kia and your dentures hit the person in front of you in class. 8: Your training partner begins each move with the statement, "I really don't want to hurt you..." 7: You mail-order the prune scented Dit Dat Jow. 6: You ask Sensei about the use of a walker in Kuboda training. 5: Like a toothache, it feels so good when you stop! 4: You discover that sweat really is the fountain of youth. 3: You tire of swapping lies about golf and instead enjoy discussing your favorite kata. 2: You rent a forklift to help you out of your easy chair. and, the number 1 reason Your family nickname is "Rice Crispy," because when you get out of bed in the morning, there's a deafening sound of snap, crackle and pop! More funnies to follow shortly...stay tuned... Elite Freestyle Karate & Kickboxing International